Our Little Nicholas

When I was still alone (and I mean literally living alone), it seemed like life was so simple. I used to live in a small room (around 12-15 meter squares) with just a bed and a closet, I don’t even have my own bathroom, I had to share it with other renters. I eat anything at anytime I want, hey! I may even just go sleep without eating (it’s a lazy way to get sick, hahaha!). I can go window shop every afternoon, dreaming about owning this and owning that… ahhh… life has never been easier!

Then Nicholas came and bang! Everything has to change!

Well, before I continue, I would like to say I am never sorry that I became a member of the prestigious motherhood club. I am never sorry that I was blessed with a very handsome, smart and healthy bundle of joy. No, this is isn’t about me feeling sorry for myself because I have to change my lifestyle. This is about a realization, this is about me embracing the wonderful life of being a mother.

Ok, let’s go back to business shall we?

As I was saying, it’s different now. With my angel, I choose not to settle for anything less. I want to give him the best, to do everything I can to make him a very happy and secure baby. Like, I had to buy my own computer for me to be able to work at home and personally attend to his needs. Or I had to go shopping for all his needs even before he was born. Or I had to go for monthly visits, maintain vitamins, make sure I was healthy and safe for him. I mean, I am a single Mom, and I was earning for myself. I didn’t have much money then. I didn’t even have enough for the cesarean section.So when did I get the money for this? Yeah, I borrowed. I have a credit card, I used it to prepare for my baby’s arrival, and now, I am still paying it. Oh well, I will pay until I ran out of money, I’ll borrow and borrow again if it means I can give my baby everything he needs.

Yeah, even buying him Cheetos so he can snack on it while watching his favorite kiddie TV commercials/ads, hahaha! That’s really cute!

Or shopping for his daily needs or even wants if I can give it to him. Errr… his stuff doesn’t really come from Ace Harware, but well, I can’t let him carry a heavy bag of baby liquid soap, baby lotion, milk, diapers, and more!

Or making him look smart and cool especially on an event like pictorials for his passport

Or going to a playsite where he can have fun interacting with other kids or have access to toys he doesn’t have at home.

So yes, now, I’m not enjoying the cellphone plans that I used to overpay anyways, hehehe! And now, I don’t see any movement or growth on my savings account. And yes, I’m not using my credit card anymore. I need help in saving money, I need help to shrink my bills. And I have to do all these not to the expense of my son’s needs and wants. Do I need a part-time job? Or maybe I need to change jobs (hey! that’s tempting considering the never-ending salary delays). Or maybe I just need to change my spending habits? But heck! I don’t even have much to spend! My salary comes and go, faster than my college allowance I’ll just laugh about this then. I’ll just enjoy every moment with my son, enjoy his smiles and laughters, enjoy his happiness, his health, his well-being… I am ok with the present situation (well, as long as the credit card company doesn’t put me in jail, hahaha!), I am surviving. Thanks to Mark and his kindness, thanks for his loving support and matured guidance.

Ok, shall we talk about finding another job? Hehehe!