Our Little Nicholas

That’s Mommy’s phone! Uh-uh! Ok fine! Eat it! Sigh….

While Nico’s cousins take my phone (anybody’s phone for that matter) to “fake” a call to their Dads (since their Moms are with them all the time), saying “Daddy? Daddy? Hello Daddy?”, Nico just watch them with intrigued and curious eyes. Well, Nico doesn’t seem to understand what his cousins are doing (or saying) since when it is his turn to hold the phone at last, he won’t put it on his ear and say “Da? Da?” He’ll quickly put the phone in his mouth as if it is a chocolate bar. Hmmmm…

Well, I don’t want to give my son false hopes though. I mean, if his Dad doesn’t want to call, be it. I know it’s important for kids to have a communication with their parents but well it’s the Daddy’s lost not my baby’s. I’ll make sure that Nico is well loved and taken care of. He actually looks up to his GrandPapa as his Daddy. Nico’s Dad could very well get lost on his own world. I don’t think he knows that phones, internet and even Internet Fax exist for communication purposes. If it’s true that he’s working outside the country right now, he can avail of many other telecom services outside the country, like Spectrotel.  Even small and mid-sized businesses rely on Spectrotel for their Internet and telecommunications needs. He can get to know more about the latest Spectrotel special offers and avail of their low-cost plans buy visiting their site. Or he can opt for other internet and telecom provider if he wants to. He’ll gonna regret abandoning his son. Nico is just the sweetest and the cutest baby ever! I just hope I’ll be ready for that day when he asks about his irresponsible Dad.

Yup, you read that right. This post is about Baby Nico’s Dad.

The man has technically abandoned his child, turned his back from his responsibility, hurt Nico’s Mommy and in the future will hurt Baby Nico himself. Yes, this is the man who left Nico’s Mom to fend for herself, to face and suffer all the shame, the drastic judgment and the pain that the world has thrown her way, to work hard, real hard not only for herself but as well as Little Nico’s survival.

But why blog about him? When he’s done so many unforgivable things in the past? It’s not only because I am a very forgiving person, nor because getting nearer to D-Day makes me think much about him and his forgotten responsibilities. It is because I have been thinking about my Little Nicholas and his thoughts and feelings about a Dad who abandoned him.

Yesterday, I received a call from outside the country. I was definitely out of words when I heard Little Nico’s Dad’s voice asking about my condition. I was supposed to be enraged, rant at him, spite him, tell him all the bad words that he deserved. But I checked myself, do I really have to go that low? And for what? Will it change anything? So, civilized and educated person as I am, I controlled my emotions and talked to him like a mature person. That “call” ended up on us chatting online (since I was still online that time, had work to finish).

Nico’s Dad looked tired and beat. I guess his conscience is working through his veins. He told me he checked out Nico’s blog (it was posted on my YM status) and he got so sad that he can’t be in the blog, that there’s not a single post about him praying for Little Nico, loving Little Nico, wanting Little Nico.. etc. I asked him why does he expect that? When he abandoned his son. He doesn’t have an answer for that. He admits his wrongdoings but I heard not a single word about his plans for the future, if it includes his son… and I didn’t bother asking.

We chatted for almost 2 hours, some about nonsense matters. Yet, all throughout the conversation, I know nothing will change, the fact will still remain. He’s an irresponsible Daddy to little Nico and it will stay that way. But with that fact comes another undeniable fact as well. That he will always be Nico’s Dad, no matter what. I just hope God will grant me enough courage to explain these things to my baby someday; and that He’ll grant my little angel the wisdom and understanding to accept these facts of life.

As for me… I am just thankful that despite all the bad things, the man has been God’s instrument in giving me Little Nicholas, my most precious love.