What kind of “angry person” are you? Do you throw things? Do you hurt others physically like slap them or pinch them? Do you nag your way to anger? There are times one needs to get fired up before she calms down from her anger. Sometimes too, there are hormones in our system that we can’t just stop from exploding (yeah right! Blame it to those pregnancy hormones! We can get away with that.) Meaning, it’s but normal for us to get fired up sometimes especially when the tension’s mounting and we’re in deep need of a fast way to get some angst out of our system. The next time this happens, try this simple and un-scandalous activity instead:

In the midst of your anger, take a piece of paper and a pen, go to that quiet corner and write down your worries and fears; you can take note of your anger as well. Be as detailed as you can get; elaborate on those bad emotions. Just write everything out of your system. When you think you’ve written everything down, and that your brain is finally empty of reservations, apprehensions and irritations, take a deep breath, count to three and then shred the paper — and your rage — into tiny bits. Now, doesn’t that feel better?

What’s the Matter

Your place is getting too small for you and your baby, especially with the Nanny tagging along (hey! You need extra spaces for your baby’s stuff too!) Moving to a new location sounded like a fun escapade when you thought about it 5 months ago. Why not? You’ll have a new place, will meet new people and go through new experiences in a new community. It will be a fresh start! But your fresh start turned out to be a rotten dead-end. You decided the neighborhood is just too noisy for you to take, and the sea of hostile strangers in the other door makes you want to hide inside your apartment and stay there permanently!

What You Should Do

I know, just like me, you see yourself as the most genuine person in this world. Still, Even if you don’t feel like it, (since this can really be quite difficult and painful) it’s about time to show the biggest smile you can manage. Yes, you can do that. It’s easier to frown but you won’t like the results. So better show that radiant smile.

Why It Works Magic

There’s this popular cliché about getting through a very rough time – “Fake it till you make it”. And it does works! You see, smiling through a nerve-wracking situation or any grueling condition can help a lot. It will not only make you look friendly and composed (which is definitely an advantage for a stranger like you in a strange land), but it will also lift your mood altogether. It’s no secret, and what’s the rationale behind? Simple! Smiling sends a signal to our brain, it tells our brain nerves to be calm and tranquil. And when your brain is calm, it’ll send a signal to your lips to keep smiling and let the neighborhood know that you’re a friendly person who’ll respect their rights as long as they respect yours.

What’s the Matter

Just as you thought you’re getting there, calming yourself, being brave about the fact that D-Day is near, your “best friend” innocently tells you, “Oh, you’re on your 8^th month right? God! I heard so many scary tales about this month…. Ladida-da-dah-blah-blah-blah…” You already told her the other day about that scare and you already asked her to help you build up your confidence. You want to explode, but you’re in a rather crowded place in a cafeteria somewhere, the last thing you needed is a scene.

What You Should Do

Count to 10 before giving your response, taking a real deep breath between each number. If deep breathing’s out of the question, (sometimes, when one is really angry it’s harder to breath) try using the phrase “yummy chocolate chip cookie” between each number: one yummy chocolate chip cookie, two yummy chocolate chip cookie, and so on.

Why It Works Magic

Taking your time in answering gives you a chance to get yourself together and gather your thought before you say anything. When you are furious, the tendency is, you say things you regret later on — you can minimize the damage by taking the 10-count first.