When I was still alone (and I mean literally living alone), it seemed like life was so simple. I used to live in a small room (around 12-15 meter squares) with just a bed and a closet, I don’t even have my own bathroom, I had to share it with other renters. I eat anything at anytime I want, hey! I may even just go sleep without eating (it’s a lazy way to get sick, hahaha!). I can go window shop every afternoon, dreaming about owning this and owning that… ahhh… life has never been easier!

Then Nicholas came and bang! Everything has to change!

Well, before I continue, I would like to say I am never sorry that I became a member of the prestigious motherhood club. I am never sorry that I was blessed with a very handsome, smart and healthy bundle of joy. No, this is isn’t about me feeling sorry for myself because I have to change my lifestyle. This is about a realization, this is about me embracing the wonderful life of being a mother.

Ok, let’s go back to business shall we?

As I was saying, it’s different now. With my angel, I choose not to settle for anything less. I want to give him the best, to do everything I can to make him a very happy and secure baby. Like, I had to buy my own computer for me to be able to work at home and personally attend to his needs. Or I had to go shopping for all his needs even before he was born. Or I had to go for monthly visits, maintain vitamins, make sure I was healthy and safe for him. I mean, I am a single Mom, and I was earning for myself. I didn’t have much money then. I didn’t even have enough for the cesarean section.So when did I get the money for this? Yeah, I borrowed. I have a credit card, I used it to prepare for my baby’s arrival, and now, I am still paying it. Oh well, I will pay until I ran out of money, I’ll borrow and borrow again if it means I can give my baby everything he needs.

Yeah, even buying him Cheetos so he can snack on it while watching his favorite kiddie TV commercials/ads, hahaha! That’s really cute!

Or shopping for his daily needs or even wants if I can give it to him. Errr… his stuff doesn’t really come from Ace Harware, but well, I can’t let him carry a heavy bag of baby liquid soap, baby lotion, milk, diapers, and more!

Or making him look smart and cool especially on an event like pictorials for his passport

Or going to a playsite where he can have fun interacting with other kids or have access to toys he doesn’t have at home.

So yes, now, I’m not enjoying the cellphone plans that I used to overpay anyways, hehehe! And now, I don’t see any movement or growth on my savings account. And yes, I’m not using my credit card anymore. I need help in saving money, I need help to shrink my bills. And I have to do all these not to the expense of my son’s needs and wants. Do I need a part-time job? Or maybe I need to change jobs (hey! that’s tempting considering the never-ending salary delays). Or maybe I just need to change my spending habits? But heck! I don’t even have much to spend! My salary comes and go, faster than my college allowance I’ll just laugh about this then. I’ll just enjoy every moment with my son, enjoy his smiles and laughters, enjoy his happiness, his health, his well-being… I am ok with the present situation (well, as long as the credit card company doesn’t put me in jail, hahaha!), I am surviving. Thanks to Mark and his kindness, thanks for his loving support and matured guidance.

Ok, shall we talk about finding another job? Hehehe!

Wow! I love the books that I got from WhatToExpect.com! It arrived this week and oh boy! I’m impressed! Maybe because I am a book-lover or maybe because I am a first-time Mom and I am overwhelmed with too much information in the book or maybe because What To Expect kept its promise to send me these books

Let me see, I received the following:

“What To Expect When You’re Expecting”,

“Eating Well When You’re Expecting”,

“Pregnancy Journal & Organizer”,

“Baby-sitter’s Handbook”,

“What To Expect the First Year”, and

“What To Expect the Toddler Years”

I think the last book is the most useful for me now since Nicholas is already one year old. But of course I can still use the other books especially with the fact that Mark and I are planning to build a BIG family

Now I can start my reading and then share what I’ve learned to my angel’s blog’s avid readers, yes you guys WhatToExpect.com also promised to send me more books to give out to my blogfriends. So yes, watch out for the contests that I am launching at this site so you’ll win the same series of books as well. Isn’t that exciting?

Hey! Thanks  to Tony of WhatToExpect.com for this wonderful gift!

Before, it has always been Nicholas and Me… Baby and Mommy… You and I… Just the two of us…

From pregnancy to his birth, I have been alone in taking care of Nicholas. I have been his Mom and
Dad when he was first month old. It was the same case when he turned two months… then again and again, every month, Nicholas saw me as his only parent — his Mama and Papa.

I admit I wanted him to think that way. I wanted him to realize that though it is painful, the truth is, I am his only parent. Yes, his grandparents love him. My sisters and relatives love him as well. But they have lives of their  own. They have families of their own. Nicholas only have me as his family. I thought it would be better for him to think that his family will always comprise of him and me because it is very difficult to find someone to
complete it.

Then I met Mark.

All of a sudden my craving for a complete family came flashing like a bolt of lightning. I thought being alone in taking care of Nicholas is just fine. I thought I don’t need a man. I thought Nicholas doesn’t need a father. All these thoughts vanished when I saw how beautiful it is to have a complete family with Mark. My heart and mind took a sudden switch when I met the most responsible, hard-working, generous, loving, and caring father for my Nicholas — the sincerest, most passionate, honest, affectionate, devoted and faithful partner for me.

My little baby deserves a good and loving family — a mother, a father and siblings. I have no doubt that
I will do all I can to be the best mother to my son. But I know it won’t be enough. Nicholas needs a father figure to guide him in the world of boys and men — someone with a good soul to teach him how to become a man who knows how to treat a woman and how to become a better man, someone who will walk hand in
hand with me in our journey to a harmonious and happy family life.

I’m so blessed I found Mark… or was it him who found me? Well, whichever is which, the truth is, the reason we met is Nicholas and we’re building a future together now for Nicholas. Finally, the agony of waiting is over… thank God, at last, a family for me and my baby…