Our Little Nicholas

I am a working Mom, but yes, I always think the phrase “working mother” is redundant. Even before I became a mother, I strongly believe that my Mama is the most hard-working person in the world. Well, apart from working hard in the market, waking up at 2:00 o’clock in the morning everyday, going home by 10:00 o’clock in the morning, she makes sure she’s got all our needs covered — physically, materially, mentally, emotionally, spiritually. So yes, aside from her business, she’s working hard, real hard to keep our family together and to keep all of us happy. She’s a working working mom! A redundancy right?

But it’s only when I had Nicholas that I felt the impact of such redundancy…

I love my little angel very much, he’s a precious gift from God. True, he’s unexpected, I never planned him. But I’ve always wanted him. So when God decided I’m already worthy of the title “Mother” and gave him to me, I accepted him with arms wide open even with the circumstances. When I got him in my tummy, I already know all the struggles and the hardships that I’ll have to go through to be a good mother to him. I know it won’t be easy but that thought never stopped me from becoming a Mommy.

When I love, I put my heart and soul into it, that I sometimes lose myself…

One of my favorite Hollywood actress Meryl Streep once said “Motherhood has a very humanizing effect; everything gets reduced to essentials”. I agree with her and more. With Nicholas, my everyday is all about my son’s essentials — Nicholas’ milk, Nicholas’ diapers, Nicholas’ food, Nicholas’ shirts, Nicholas’ shoes, Nicholas’ well-being, Nicholas’ health, Nicholas’ enjoyment, Nicholas’ happiness, Nicholas, Nicholas, Nicholas, it’s all about Nicholas. I can still remember that day that I spent almost 10,000 pesos on Nicholas’ stuff and I was so happy when I got home, in the dismay of my Mom. She asked me, what did you get for yourself? I sheepishly said “Uhmmm… I ate out..” her look said the rest. It was the same case when I went shopping for Nicholas’ potty, Nicholas’ table and chair, Nicholas’ drawing stuff, and went home tired from carrying all of the stuff. Mark asked me what I bought for myself and I saw a glimpse of dismay on his face when he learned I bought nothing for myself.

I am a full-time Mom, yet a working Mom, but I’m not a superwoman…

I am working hard for my son. The reason why I wake up early and sleep late is for me to take care of all his needs and at the same time earn a living, for the same reason — take care of all his needs. But sometimes, yes there are times, when I can’t stop feeling a little down about myself. Yes, it is fulfilling to be a mother, it’s a great feeling to be loved and love an angel like my son. But it’s hard to do it all alone. I was thinking, maybe other Moms were able to do it because they have a partner to give them strength… physically. I know, I have Mark, and I am thankful that God gave him to me… but God, I need him close to me. Sometimes, I get so uninspired that I neglect work and just look after my son. Because of this, I’m behind my schedules and my job’s on the line. This leads to frustrations that I sometimes scramble with financial issues and further leads to me throwing my frustrations on my son. Poor darling…

Still, I am trying hard to be a working Mom and be happy with it…

I don’t know what the future holds but I hope I’ll see through this all soon. I know Mark is doing all he can to make things better, I know he wants me close as much as I want him close to me, I know he’s hurting too, that he wants to relieve me of all my pains and hardships… and that truth keeps me going, along with the fact that I love my son very much, that I will do more than I can to keep him safe, healthy and happy. I’m more than willing to be selfless to be a good Mom.

Nothing and nobody will make me abandon and forfeit the great privilege of motherhood…

For days, my site was diverted to these stupid guys’ page which says:

Hacked by DigitALL.. hackerzone.org

Can you believe these morons? So they think we’re bunch of stupid bloggers like them? Well, my webhosting partner will not let you guys take over so move over and go to the drain where you belong! There!

Nahhh.. I wasn’t really frantic about these bunch of thieves… I know I can still go through my posts in my database and download all of them so I can print my baby’s diary — that is just my major concern because the hosting of this site is expiring real soon and I am not planning to renew since Mark and I will be launching a new site not only for our little Nicholas but also for Mommy and Daddy too.. yeah, it’ll be a family blogsite. I just hope my blog friends would still be my friends even after changing my site though..

Anyways, I am busy downloading all Nicholas’ posts now. I am actually excited to print his diary. Oh boy! It would be wonderful to create his book, each page full of love and life… But well, Mommy’s busy nowadays with all the activities in the company, the deadlines and all, and yes, of course, the fact that my baby and I are in the “Just you and I” mode again… yup! No nanny again! But I’m a SuperMommy, right baby? I can do this, Nicholas and Mark will support me all the way.

Ok, back to the thieves… don’t come back soon, nobody misses you…

I’m happy to hear that Daddy went out  to celebrate his birthday yesterday. I do hope Daddy had a great time even with the fact that Mommy and I are at the other part of the globe celebrating the day he was born. A guy like my Dad is really worth celebrating for, and I’m sure everybody will agree with me

Now I’m looking forward to celebrate Mommy’s birthday. This is her second birthday with me. The first one though passed as if it’s just an ordinary day. Maybe because I was so young to understand the importance of commemorating one’s birthday (especially a very important person like my Mom) or maybe because of the fact that I was so cute when I was still 5 months old and everybody still sees me instead of Mommy. LOL!

Well, I wish I could celebrate Mom’s birthday with a bang this year. She’ll be 29 (don’t be mad Mommy, it’s a lovely age) on the 14th of May and it’s her 2nd year of celebrating her entry to Mommyhood (Mother’s Day is at May 9 I supposed). It has always been about me, me, me in the past. Mommy always passed up on buying this or doing that for me and my needs. I wish I can do something about that.

Is there a fundraising idea out there that a 1-year old guy like me can do? Hihihi! I mean, a guy my age can’t do anything besides eat, sleep, brush my teeth, take a bath in my bathtub, play, read, dance, watch TV, talk to Dadda at skype, and look handsome and cute at all times (Wow! What a responsibility!). But my Mom can do magic not only with the computer but also in her kitchen. Yeah, she can cook and she cooks good (in fact Daddy complained that Mommy cooks so good, his belly’s getting bigger, hahaha!). Mommy can make her doughnuts, empanada (a Spanish stuffed bread or pastry) and chocolate fudge and brownies and start a fundraising on it. I can be the cute kid in the wrapper (hey! my talent fee’s for free!) LOL!

Well, I saw Mommy’s been reading a site on fundraising ideas, that’s why I am wondering if I can start one for her birthday, which is of course around 16 days from now so I guess I need a miracle fundraising for one. According to the site that Mom has been reading though (yeah, I’m eavesdropping), one can start a fundraising discount card, a brochure fundraising, even a donation fundraising and many more! Hmmm… Donation Fundraising sounds good, I wonder if somebody out there can help me start it for me to buy my Mom her birthday and Mother’s day present… Well, I know Mommy has been preparing to launch a contest on her birthday on my site but she never heard from a supposed prize sponsor yet. It’s sad that the contest for Daddy’s birthday wasn’t pushed through. She was so excited to launch it but the prize sponsor was so late in giving his notification so she canceled it. I’m afraid that will happen on Mom’s birthday contest as well, sigh…

But of course I’m so happy that Daddy is more than willing to fund Mom’s Pearl Farm celebration. Well, it’s just a plan to have a day-tour in that island with my grandparents, aunts and uncles and cousins. It costs so much though so I know Mommy cannot afford it. Daddy can, but I really wish I could come up with a good idea to help with the expenses as well. Maybe winning a lottery will help me in this, hihihi! Oh well, what’s a little boy like me can do?

Time flies fast indeed. Another month is added into my angel’s happy life, thank God for that, more! More! More! Hehehe! Oh yes! I wish my baby more months and years to come

Last month was another delight. Nicholas and I spent wonderful days together as we both learn things we should know – me as a Mom, him as a toddler. Aside from running and moving so fast (which I think would make Nico a great athlete someday), Nicholas is also starting to develop his artistic skills. And I’m not just talking about his dancing and singing talents here. Yes, he loves to sing, hum along to the music, even sway while his humming. And yes, he’s definitely a wonderful dancer, he’s not even shy about it, unlike other kids who dance but stop when they know someone else is watching. No, my Nicholas is never shy about his talent, he would definitely show off his dancing skills, he even have footworks! But what amazed me this month is his acting skills. Yes, we have a Hugh Jackman in the making here folks! So how did he show his great acting ability? Read on…

I first discovered it the day when he wanted to come with me in the bathroom because he wants to take a bath again. I told him to stay with the nanny because it’s Mommy’s turn to take a bath. He reluctantly agreed, showed me a pout and then walked away from the bathroom door. I was in the bathroom when I heard him screaming (as if in pain) and crying (yes, with tears when I went out), banging the bathroom door, saying “yayay, yayay, yayay” (Nico’s way of announcing he’s hurt) over and over again. It sounded so genuine that I have to rush out of the bathroom and ask him what’s wrong. Nico rushed to my arms, pointing at his feet and said “yayay” over and over again. The nanny was laughing behind him and told me nothing was wrong. Nicholas just stood there for a couple of seconds (to internalize maybe, hehehe) and then started crying afterwards. Oh my! A Best Actor! He even had tears on his cheeks! Genuine tears! Maybe I should contact ABS-CBN’s talent center and make Nicholas their youngest actor, hehehe!

Well, I’m happy that Nicholas has these artistic talents, and I know I’ll see more of these as he grows up. But well, after 16 months, what really makes me happy and proud of him is that he’s ever cute, handsome and charming to everybody and the fact that he’s really a smart kid. My officemates can share so many testimonies about how smart Nico is compared to other kids his age. Even my aunt can’t help admire the fact that my angel seems to be thinking more maturely than his other cousins who are somewhat in his age bracket. While the other kids are so “babyish”, Nicholas already shows he’s got Mommy’s bullish determination – he knows what he wants and he knows how to get it.

I’m a happy and proud Mom, that’s really apparent isn’t it? It tickles my fancy when people comment that Nicholas looks just like me, the Chinese eyes, the big round cheeks, hehehe. My Mom even told me yesterday that Nicholas is my male version. Nicholas is a very cute and beautiful child, so that means I am too? Yey! I’m beautiful hahaha!

It was a great 16^th month and I know the following months will be wonderful as well

He was jumping up and down on my legs, he was playing and giggling with other passengers on his right, at his front and at his back, he was singing and dancing to the music in a playing movie, he was smiling for the captured moments, staring at the capturing gadget sometimes and even grabbing it to himself at times. My little baby had fun!

Well, until he saw the beautiful sunset and curled in my arms to sleep like a little angel that he is. My baby was a no-fuss baby to travel with, that I can proudly say. I said that because I’ve seen a lot of Moms traveling with their kids in an airplane, a bus or even a jeepney, but they have behavioral problems with their kids, unlike my son – thank God for that! Just like the Mom who carried her pretty little girl who cried for an hour (goodness!) while we were in the bus. The poor Mom was in panic and don’t know how to pacify the poor girl, tsk! (Honestly, her crying and screaming as if in pain broke my heart). I felt so blessed that Nicholas was soundly asleep even when the little girl was practically screaming on his ears.

Nicholas enjoyed the trip but he enjoyed more the attention that he got from the Sticky Media peeps. My little boy is a superstar! He’s a smash! Everybody wants to play with him, everybody wants to hug him, and why not? He gives his smile to everybody; he’s a joy to be with. Everybody are telling me that I’m so lucky to have such a happy child who always have a big smile ready for everyone. And when he giggles and shrieks! Oh boy! You’ll find yourself laughing too! Look! They even captured him in that company anniversary video! 3 seconds of exposure! Oh boy indeed!

But well, he’s still a happy and outgoing boy even when not around with other people, especially when he’s with his most favorite person in whole wide world… who else? So yeah, even in the room where we stayed, he was constantly on the go – running, laughing, giggling, playing tag, climbing, until he gets hungry or exhausted or until a TV commercial or program gets his attention, making him sing along and dance along!

So aside from striking a pose on that steps Nicholas also went playing in a closet, changing the TV channels on his bath robe (the Don, hihihi!), swimming in Marco Hotel’s nice and cold swimming pool, or just scratching his head whenever he sees or hear something ridiculous (guess he’s watching a political ad then, hahaha!). Nicholas had a great time in CDO!