They say Moms are prone to such after giving birth. It’s actually surprising that some Moms could feel sad after waiting for so long for their baby to come; feelings of great joy is expected but depression? How come?

This doesn’t mean that some Moms (like me, apparently) are getting crazy though. Medical books state that this is normal and that 80% of all women after birth experience this. Others may have “mild” feelings and thus they call such feelings as “baby blues”. Some though experience stronger and overwhelming emotions that may last for several months and even more than a year (now that’s scary!).

They say a Mom experiences Postpartum Distress Syndrome (depression) when these symptoms are seen: crying for no apparent reason, sudden exhaustion, unreasonable irritability, lack of confidence, anxiety attacks, lack of feelings/emotions for the baby, impatience, oversensitivity and restlessness. Oh my! I just described a monster! That’s a clearly depressed person alright!

Hmmm… This post reminds me of an article I read about depression (As a depressed person for years, I do know a lot of articles about it, hahaha!). A Dr Daniel Amen wrote this article and even published this in his website. Change Your Brain, Change Your Life. That is apparently the title of the book he authored wherein he explained the process of optimizing one’s brain to achieve one’s fullest potential. But I don’t think this formula can be applied to postpartum depression… or maybe I’m wrong.

There are actually many ways to deal with this problem, but it all boils down to emotional support. Yes, a support network is but important during these crucial times. Family members and friends can definitely help alleviate the feelings of depression. Though medication (tranquilizers and anti-depressants) may be necessary in some cases, emotional support is still the best way to deal with such.

The question now is that am I depressed? I guess I am. Don’t get me wrong, I am definitely elated with my little bundle of joy but well there are some factors that contributed to my depression. Financial hurdles are there and well there are actually more. But I know I’ll survive this. I’ve always been a strong person right? (I hope so).

The Polymedic General Hospital, where Nicholas was born, strictly adheres to the New Born Screening procedures in all newly born babies. Though it’s an additional cost for us, I happily submitted Nico to the procedure because I know it’s for his own good.

Newborn screening aims to test every newborn for the presence of specific harmful or potentially fatal disorders that seem to be absent at birth — yup, meaning, it may not be seen during the first weeks, months or even years after birth. These disorders are classified as metabolic disorders, or otherwise known as “inborn errors of metabolism”. These disorders interfere with the body’s nutrient utilization in maintaining healthy tissues and producing energy. Other disorders include problems with hormones and the blood. Some results though could detect mental retardation early and so treatment can be given earlier as well. Mental problems can be fatal to parents as well as it would lead to depression for parents and who knows what?

I remember reading an article about sanity and identity. It’s actually in the Science of Identity lectures provided by Jagad Guru Chris Butler. The lecture was entitled “Some intelligent people don’t have a brain”. I was amazed that scientists have found people who excel in academics and found out that they don’t have brains! I mean, whoa! That’s certainly amazing!

I guess New Born Screenings are provided for this test as well; you know, see if the baby has got real brains and not just a cranium filled with spinal fluid. But if it doesn’t affect the baby’s thinking at all (except that it makes them amazingly intelligent), I don’t think it’s harmful right? But then again, who wouldn’t want to live with no brain or a damaged brain (retarded) for that matter? That is why I really think this New Born Screening is really advantageous.

Speaking of which, I’m yet to get Nico’s results next week. Apparently, the procedure is that complicated that it takes them weeks to produce the results. I fervently hope they find no disorder on my little angel’s body and brain.

This house is just too hot for Little Nicholas to handle! My poor darling is having heat rash (also known as prickly heat). Medical books said it’s harmless to babies. Harmless! Looking at my baby’s face and head and neck is breaking my heart, it looks so harmful! Especially when Nico’s sleep is disturbed everytime he feels itchy and wants to scratch the small red spots to death!

Blocked and inflamed sweat glands are the major causes of prickly heat. I know this room is very humid and hot (it’s like that even during the rainy season). I feel like an irresponsible Mom everytime I look at Nico struggling with his heat rash. I’m sorry I cannot afford an air-conditioning system for him. I’m also sorry I brought him into this humid house.

For days I’ve been looking into the price of AC in the internet. Oh God! I can’t afford that! I cannot even afford an air cooler! So I was thinking of relocating again. Maybe find another house, somewhere not this hot. I mean, our room is being hit directly by sunlight; that compounded the humidity situation. I was thinking of getting a house loaned through Pag-ibig. I was inspired by my friend’s testimony about a mortgage company that allowed them a residential housing loan in the United States. The process was speedy and very convenient according to her. Sigh, I just wish Pag-ibig is as prompt as Amerisave which is the number 1 mortgage company in the United States.

Little Nicholas and I can always go home to Davao City and take advantage of my parents’ generosity, but then that would mean I will lose my job again and being not only an irresponsible Mom but also an irresponsible daughter. Nah! I can’t let that happen. I guess I’ll have to find a new house, fast. That’s the least I can do to help my little angel in his bout with heat rash.

I just hate my hair! And my skin! Is this what they call the “Post-Pregnancy Effect”?

I’ve read that when a Mom’s hair and skin loses its beauty during pregnancy, all will be back to normal after the baby is born. My Mom assured me of that fact (?) too. But it’s been 3 weeks since Nicholas was born and look at my before and after pregnancy picture!

With regards to my skin, I know I cannot use anything on my face yet (especially astringent) cause the chemicals might go to my milk, I’m breastfeeding Nicholas. Hmmm… Must I go to a skin clinic then (Dr. Belo perhaps?) and have the experts look into it? But oh my! I can’t afford that right?

My hair is making things worse as well. It’s just plain dry and ugly! And I think it’s thinning out already, am I losing my crown of glory? Shucks! Do I need hair transplantation then? I think I would go to Dr. Pistone then and have  hair transplantation procedures explained so I could go into it. But well, aside from the fact that I can’t afford his great hair services using his highly advanced equipment, I don’t think my situation is that serious right? My hair’s thinning out alright, but I don’t think I’ll go bald (I hope so).

I am getting ugly everytime I look in the mirror (which I always do, sigh!). But you know what, at the end of the day, I find myself thinking, it’s ok to be physically marred like this, having little Nicholas is the most wonderful thing that happened to me. So my skin is full of acne, so my hair is dry, that’s nothing compared to the happiness that my little angel has given me. So, bring it on! Hahaha!