Our Little Nicholas

I am a working Mom, but yes, I always think the phrase “working mother” is redundant. Even before I became a mother, I strongly believe that my Mama is the most hard-working person in the world. Well, apart from working hard in the market, waking up at 2:00 o’clock in the morning everyday, going home by 10:00 o’clock in the morning, she makes sure she’s got all our needs covered — physically, materially, mentally, emotionally, spiritually. So yes, aside from her business, she’s working hard, real hard to keep our family together and to keep all of us happy. She’s a working working mom! A redundancy right?

But it’s only when I had Nicholas that I felt the impact of such redundancy…

I love my little angel very much, he’s a precious gift from God. True, he’s unexpected, I never planned him. But I’ve always wanted him. So when God decided I’m already worthy of the title “Mother” and gave him to me, I accepted him with arms wide open even with the circumstances. When I got him in my tummy, I already know all the struggles and the hardships that I’ll have to go through to be a good mother to him. I know it won’t be easy but that thought never stopped me from becoming a Mommy.

When I love, I put my heart and soul into it, that I sometimes lose myself…

One of my favorite Hollywood actress Meryl Streep once said “Motherhood has a very humanizing effect; everything gets reduced to essentials”. I agree with her and more. With Nicholas, my everyday is all about my son’s essentials — Nicholas’ milk, Nicholas’ diapers, Nicholas’ food, Nicholas’ shirts, Nicholas’ shoes, Nicholas’ well-being, Nicholas’ health, Nicholas’ enjoyment, Nicholas’ happiness, Nicholas, Nicholas, Nicholas, it’s all about Nicholas. I can still remember that day that I spent almost 10,000 pesos on Nicholas’ stuff and I was so happy when I got home, in the dismay of my Mom. She asked me, what did you get for yourself? I sheepishly said “Uhmmm… I ate out..” her look said the rest. It was the same case when I went shopping for Nicholas’ potty, Nicholas’ table and chair, Nicholas’ drawing stuff, and went home tired from carrying all of the stuff. Mark asked me what I bought for myself and I saw a glimpse of dismay on his face when he learned I bought nothing for myself.

I am a full-time Mom, yet a working Mom, but I’m not a superwoman…

I am working hard for my son. The reason why I wake up early and sleep late is for me to take care of all his needs and at the same time earn a living, for the same reason — take care of all his needs. But sometimes, yes there are times, when I can’t stop feeling a little down about myself. Yes, it is fulfilling to be a mother, it’s a great feeling to be loved and love an angel like my son. But it’s hard to do it all alone. I was thinking, maybe other Moms were able to do it because they have a partner to give them strength… physically. I know, I have Mark, and I am thankful that God gave him to me… but God, I need him close to me. Sometimes, I get so uninspired that I neglect work and just look after my son. Because of this, I’m behind my schedules and my job’s on the line. This leads to frustrations that I sometimes scramble with financial issues and further leads to me throwing my frustrations on my son. Poor darling…

Still, I am trying hard to be a working Mom and be happy with it…

I don’t know what the future holds but I hope I’ll see through this all soon. I know Mark is doing all he can to make things better, I know he wants me close as much as I want him close to me, I know he’s hurting too, that he wants to relieve me of all my pains and hardships… and that truth keeps me going, along with the fact that I love my son very much, that I will do more than I can to keep him safe, healthy and happy. I’m more than willing to be selfless to be a good Mom.

Nothing and nobody will make me abandon and forfeit the great privilege of motherhood…

For days, my site was diverted to these stupid guys’ page which says:

Hacked by DigitALL.. hackerzone.org

Can you believe these morons? So they think we’re bunch of stupid bloggers like them? Well, my webhosting partner will not let you guys take over so move over and go to the drain where you belong! There!

Nahhh.. I wasn’t really frantic about these bunch of thieves… I know I can still go through my posts in my database and download all of them so I can print my baby’s diary — that is just my major concern because the hosting of this site is expiring real soon and I am not planning to renew since Mark and I will be launching a new site not only for our little Nicholas but also for Mommy and Daddy too.. yeah, it’ll be a family blogsite. I just hope my blog friends would still be my friends even after changing my site though..

Anyways, I am busy downloading all Nicholas’ posts now. I am actually excited to print his diary. Oh boy! It would be wonderful to create his book, each page full of love and life… But well, Mommy’s busy nowadays with all the activities in the company, the deadlines and all, and yes, of course, the fact that my baby and I are in the “Just you and I” mode again… yup! No nanny again! But I’m a SuperMommy, right baby? I can do this, Nicholas and Mark will support me all the way.

Ok, back to the thieves… don’t come back soon, nobody misses you…

I really love my Mom and I know she does everything to make me feel loved and cared for. I am very thankful that I have a Mommy like her. I always thought she’s more than enough; that she can fill all the space in my life and I need nothing more. Then Mommy met Dadda.

For a year, I got used to my Mom and me doing this and that – my Mom and me playing, my Mom and me talking, my Mom and me sleeping, my Mom and me having fun, my Mom and me… just my Mom and me. I have had my mind grew accustomed to the fact that another part of me – my supposed father – didn’t/doesn’t want me. Just like an unwanted doll, he threw me away. That was supposed to be painful, but well, my Mom found a good man who wants me, a good man who takes care of me, a good man who disciplines me, a good man who loves me, a good man who will never disappoint me.

I love my Dadda.

Dadda’s the reason why Mommy’s especially happy these days. I mean, Mommy was already happy having me in her life but now, she’s extra happy, happier than she could ever thought she’ll be because of Dadda. And like what he did to my Mom’s life, Dadda filled the void in my heart too. He’s now become the other part of me. He’s not trying to replace anybody at all, because nobody can do that. However, Dadda is not replacing somebody at all. He’s more than just a replacement, he’s more than just a father, he’s my Mom’s bestfriend and thus he’s my bestfriend too.

I still remember the first weeks I met him. I thought then he was a threat to my “position” in my Mom’s life. I was rather hostile towards him, always wary of his actions. I was even a little upset that he’s into tough love. I was not used to it. Then I saw how sincere he is, how much he loves me and my Mom, how he does everything just to make both of us happy, how he made me and Mom the center of his universe especially when he’s with us. I can see the longing on his eyes, Dadda wants me in his life! It was such a wonderful feeling to have both a Mommy and a Daddy and wonderful ones at that! I am but a blessed kid

So yes, I have so much to celebrate today. Cheers to my Mom finding a romantic, honest and good-looking man; cheers to me for having a responsible, thoughtful and loving Dad. Here’s a toast to the best Dadda in the world! I love you Dadda, Happy Dadda’s Day…. kisses to you… mwah!

I think I’ll just have to update you guys…

My social life is busy as always since I am always invited to this and that (dream on Nicholas! lol!). Well ok, this is serious now, let’s start this post with a video of me showing everybody I’m the number 1 ShowTime fan Hey! I never miss a show, even if I have a very hectic sched, c’mon! Gimme’ that title already!

Ok, so now you know I’m a good dancer, hehehe. Well, aside from that, I am a comedian as well, I know how to make Mommy laugh and I never even have to say anything! Run Mommy run!

But well, since acting is part of my so many talents, hehehe… I can always pretend I’m a snob too :-p Like in this video wherein I tried hard to ignore Mommy… poor Mommy It’s ok Mom, it’s just acting, see how real it looks? Hehehe!

Hmmm… how about me dancing and then taking a fall? How many babies do you know who recovers easily and act as if nothing happens? I mean, hello? I’m a professional guys! The show must go on! Hahaha!

Ok, I told you I had a very busy social life right? Oh well, that’s me dancing with my cousins. I mean, what can I do? They all wanted me to dance, I cannot say no to them, especially to Mom, seeing me happy, dancing, jumping, laughing, singing, and more makes her feels like the best Mom and the luckiest Mom on earth, so why not give that to her? She definitely deserves it!

And hey, here’s some of the Mother’s Day pictures that Mom took — me and GrandMa, me and Mommy, me and my dirty face, hehehe! (I was eating “halo-halo”)…

And of course, Mommy’s birthday! We had so much fun! Oh well, except for the fact that Daddy missed it But Mommy promised Daddy will be with us next year to celebrate her 30th birthday, that put a smile back on my face Going back to Mommy’s birthday celebration, we went to an expensive hotel and ate a buffet lunch there then went swimming in a nice resort. I was so happy because I can see that Mommy’s happy though she misses Daddy so much.

Anyways, back to updates guys. I had a great time watching Diego on tv too while I was relaxing (hey! babies get stressed at times too!). So yeah, that’s me, getting comfy and relaxed.

And then I thought, “Hey! Mommy needs me in the room! Should go there and entertain her, she might be bored with all work and no play” So I went inside the room and showed her my handsome smile, played with her leg or just sit there and watch her work Bet that made her heart skip a beat! lol! Ohh I love you Mommy!

And yeah, I joined Mommy and my family in a community cause too. We have this free and safe circumcision event in my GrandMa’s house and oh boy! Lots of kids came! I wasn’t able to stop myself from laughing when I heard some of the boys laughing! I mean, come on guys! It’s a piece of chicken! Hehehe!

And of course, I also had a bathtub party with my cousin Sky I love “swimming” in a bathtub and my cousin got jealous so okay… she can swim with me But well, we’re big enough to take all the space so no swimming happened at all

Ok, I’m sleepy now. Little Doggie is sleepy too, have to put him to bed first Good night everybody, thanks for dropping by… I love you Ibay, I love you Ikay, I love you Tita, I love you Mamu, I love you Wowo, I love you Wowa, I love you Daddy, I love you Mommy… mwah! to all of you.

I know you’re supposed to launch a blog contest a month before your birthday.

I know you’re supposed to re-design my blog two weeks before your birthday.

I know you’re supposed to post this and that seven days before your birthday.

I know you’re supposed to write some stuff, do some stuff, buy some stuff…

But you never get to do them.

It’s ok Mommy, you were there for me all the time

You have given me all the prizes that a good boy like me deserves, feels like I won every contest but the biggest contest of them all is the “Best Mommy in the World”!

You designed my life to be colorful and magical even if you are struggling to meet ends, still, you never fail to make sure I get all I need and even all I want (with Daddy’s help too!).

You posted all the wonderful things that a Mommy can post about her son, you are so proud of me and you’ve shown to the world how happy you are that I came into your life.

You’ve been busy with work Mommy, writing this and that, then your computer crashed and you have to rewrite everything. I saw you cried and struggled, but still you had time to play with me, talk to me, cook for me, feed me, give me a bath, read my books, take a walk with me… even when the nanny’s around. And if that isn’t enough, I saw you even took a part-time writing job just to make sure you got all my needs and wants covered. You bought so many stuff for me, it’s like you grew addicted to seeing me smile when I see I have a new shirt or a new pair of shoes. Or if you replaced my toothbrush with a musical one or buy me a new cap, a new bag, a new pen and notebook, a new everything! You are so happy even if you didn’t even buy yourself anything… nahh.. maybe except for the bottles of shampoo and conditioner, you’re addicted to making your hair beautiful too — long, shiny, straight — beautiful! But well, that’s my Mommy!

And you even have time for Daddy, chatting with him whenever you had the chance because you miss him so much. I even hear you cry at night Mommy, wishing Daddy’s here with us. I know how you feel Mom, I miss him too and I wish we’re together everyday. But as you always tell me, it won’t be long, we’ll be together soon, very soon, and we’ll never part. So hold on Mommy

And then you have time for GrandMa and GrandPa too. Every weekend we visit them. You make me happy by letting me see GrandMa and GrandPa and have them carry me, kiss me, and put my head on their shoulders, then I get to see my aunts and cousins and play with them, and I have fun all the time, laughing, running and screaming! And now, we’re even celebrating your birthday with them with a splash!

So you see Mommy, you have done all that you’re supposed to do… except for one — do something for yourself. I know, you’ll say “I’m happy that my son is happy” or “I’m ok that my Mom and Dad and sisters are happy, I’m happy too”. That’s fine I guess. But what about doing something for yourself to make you happy? I know Daddy makes you happy everytime you see his handsome face and his heart-warming smile or hear his sweet voice as you are happy when you see me smile or hear me trying hard to talk, but there are other things that would make you happy and relaxed Mom. Take a time out from work, even just for a day. Go pamper yourself. Go to a spa, have a relaxing massage. Change the colors of your nails, or your hair if you fancy that Buy new clothes, new shoes, new bags, new jewelry, new books Indulge yourself. You earned it. You work so hard to make other people happy, time to make yourself happy too, it’s your birthday!

Oh Mom! I really wish other people would make you happy too. I for one want so much to see you happy and I know Dad feels the same way. I wish nobody would hurt you anymore and make you cry. I wish people would stop judging you and just let you be happy. I wish you’ll get all you hoped for — a simple, happy life with me and Daddy. I wish you the best on your birthday Mommy. You deserve that and more!

Happy Birthday Mommy… I love you so much.